Coffee

In my last post, I wrote about some of the thoughts and worries stemming from all of the sudden getting up in the morning not having a well-defined mountain to climb. I've always worked pretty hard and focused on achieving something. Now there is the freedom associated with having a blank canvas but also the pressure of having to now invent everything myself. And perhaps most importantly, the very real fear of not being able to support myself and my familiy in a not so distant future.

Since my last post – and that’s roughly two weeks – I’ve tried to remove some of the immediate barriers that were perhaps getting in the way of thinking about things in the right way and in the end making good decisions. The big one was of course, if I screw around for a while sorting out what I want to do, will I run out of money, build an enormous debt and never be able to pay the rent and put food on the table again?

Some might say that ”of course you can always get a job”. But I have to say that the psychology in all of this is surprising. Rationally, I know that there are things that I’m more than half-decent at. But that’s not the same as knowing – not thinking or hoping but knowing – that you have options.

So – I decided that getting a realistic overview of my options was required to allow myself to focus on what I really want to do. I couldn’t really commit to exploring my various ideas if I was spending half my time thinking about how my decisions would drive me into personal bankrupcy.

Thus, I did what the title of the post suggests. I had some coffee. I called people in my network, professional as well as personal, and asked them to give me perspective input on my situation. It was genuinly a heart-warming surprise to learn the extend to which people were willing to take time out of their schedules to see me and how they were all committed to providing honest advise and help. The purpose of my writing this is most definitely not to paint a picture of everyone jumping through hoops to do me favors. But I believe that the level of flexibility and creativity from myself and some of the people in those conversations revealed some ways of achieving part of the economic certainty that I think I needed while keeping time free to explore the option of launching my own business.

Ideas – maybe not so creative or innovative in hindsight – ranged from getting a desk in an office with smart people to talk to and bounce ideas off of as opposed to sitting at home staring at the wall, over reasonable and constructive ways to cut costs in our private life, through to offers to do various sorts of freelance work to boost my finances and thereby providing a longer timeframe to get my own thing off the ground.

Right now, it feels as if it did the trick. I got the peace of mind that I was looking for. And I got some interesting follow-up conversations to perhaps execute on some of the ideas conceived during the talks.

More importantly I had some really long talks with my wife. About what we want to do as individuals and as a family. What we’re willing to sacrifice in the short term in order to achieve what we want in the long term. About the sacrifices that one person makes in order to allow the other to feel comfortable. About the pressure I’m putting her under by not providing an income right now. About what entrepreneurship means, not only to the entrepreneur but to those around him. This is without a doubt the most important aspect of removing uncertainties and doubt in my mind: to be able to talk to her and genuinly agree on what WE want to do.

What’s the lesson to learn from this story? Not sure if there is a generic one, but for me it is very much about being honest with myself about what keeping me from doing what I should be doing and then removing those barriers. At a later stage, it’s probably something entirely different (and harder to do) but for now, asking people who know me for help and advise provided just the peace of mind that I needed to keep moving forward instead of feeling forced to play safe only to regret it in two months. Having honest and difficult conversations with my wife helped realise that we are both willing to sacrifise a whole lot economically speaking for me to pursue entrepreneurship. Sure, I’d be doing that also to make money, but statistically I’m not very likely to. So the process of trying is what must drive it, not just the dream of the gold at the end of the rainbow. Arriving at that conclusion together I think will prove essential later on when things get tough.

And by the way, it feels as if one of these previously mentioned ideas is taking shape, so I might be writing about that sometime soon.